On the Inevitable Unsustainability of Exponential Growth

Instead of instituting a hard ban on having too many children, I propose the following:

If you have one child, you get the expected tax credit.

If you have two children, you get the expected tax credits.

If you have three children, you only get a single tax credit.

If you have four children, you get no tax credit.

If you have five children, you have to pay a greater amount in taxes for each child you have over that amount.

Yes, yes, I’m fully aware that having children is expensive enough in itself, and that parents will be in shit city for having so many of them. But people don’t reproduce in vacuums, and the resources, services and opportunities that an army of brats would be using up has a significant impact on the other people living in the world. You can’t just pump out a ton of kids and gobble up a shitload of resources and think you have no responsibility outside of your own little family. If you’re fucking over other people, you’d better make up for it.

I’m also aware that this is a structure that would penalize the poor far more than the wealthy, but perhaps having an explicit deterrent in place would make people more cautious. And there shouldn’t be a misleading, mostly illusory monetary incentive for people to live beyond their means anyway. That is, people shouldn’t be having children just to get greater tax credits or increased social service payments, or at the very least, those things shouldn’t be able to influence a person’s willingness to have unplanned children.

I realize this is fascist and rather terrible, but goddammit, people. I can’t believe some of you actually think that “God said ‘be fruitful and multiply’, and he wouldn’t let anything terrible come from fucking out as many children as possible.” Are you just not aware of how the physical world works? Have you never heard of non-renewable resources? Do you think reality will somehow bend to cater to your fantasy?

Yeah, maybe this discriminates — or, sorry, “discriminates” — against certain religious groups, but there are lines we need to draw with regard to how far a person’s religious beliefs can influence other people and the world around them. I shouldn’t be able to flood my lawn with crude oil just because “I think God said to do it” or leave my car running constantly with perpetual refueling (for which I get tax credits) just because it’s part of my absurd and unrealistic belief system.

And hey — it’s either this, or the eventual collapse of civilization, which will mean that your offspring or offspring’s offspring will just die of starvation or lack of resources anyway. Would you rather grow two flowers that blossom and thrive or a garden of them that mostly wither and die?



Jabberwock


Starway to Stairdom

Author: Jabberwock | @ 5:22 am | Filed under:

I discovered today the most frightening, low-rent talent show that has ever existed. It was called Stairway to Stardom, and appeared on public access in New York City in the early 1980s, but could just as convincingly have taken place in some post-apocalyptic bomb shelter. I have no clue why any of the “performers” would have participated in this horror show other than that they were held hostage and forced to humiliate themselves at gunpoint by a handful of brutish and lawless global thermonuclear war survivors in exchange for food and shelter from the radiation.

It all started when I came across Melissa Ann Lewdon’s terrible tap dance on this LiveJournal entry. Obviously having no clue at all how a piano works (or how fashion does either, for that matter), she slumps right into what is probably the most mechanical and empty tap dance I have ever seen. She may be smiling, but you can tell she’s dead on the inside. The best part comes at 1:47, by the way. Relative definitions of “best” apply, of course.

Sticking with the same terrible outfit, let’s take a look at Jennifer Jorgensen’s equally soulless clacking. Confused half-grimace plastered to her face, she does her best to convince us she can still feel love or pain or happiness or even shame, but it proves a depressing failure. Try not to stare for too long or you’ll die a little, too.

Next, like wasabi injected into your ear canals, Mike Weiss gives us his stuttering, off-key rendition of Olivia Newton John’s “I Honestly Love You”. I’m pretty sure the song would’ve had better timing if you dropped a running Discman down an escalator. What makes this one special is that the normally gushing Eric-Idol-looking host pokes fun at the poor kid at the end. Not as though he doesn’t deserve it of course, but if the guy who thinks that some of these others are quality acts derides your performance, you’re doing something wrong.

Then, there’s Gloria Huddle, an obviously insane, deathmasked horror who makes Shelly Duvall look like Rachael Leigh Cook and sings like she’s having an asthma attack in her sole, leatherized lung. Maybe if she popped it up an octave, she wouldn’t sound like she was using her vocal cords to dredge her small intestines. I’m also a little disappointed, because when she started talking about how she wanted information, I was hoping it was going to be a song about The Prisoner. Anyway, sorry lady: Jesus filed a restraining order and switched to an unlisted number. Maybe try Buddha?

Next up, Michelle Sutlovich, dressed in a lampshade, shows us her patented “there are spiders all over this floor and I have to squish them all” dance. People will see her and die, all right.

Just when I thought I’d seen the worst comedy act that has ever existed, rife with retarded racial references, childish toilet humor, explained punchlines, and the only jokes about tragic child abuse that have ever failed to make me laugh, I stumble onto this asshole, whose horrid, forced routine has a half dozen classic comedians spinning so aggressively in their graves that they’re slowing the rotation of the Earth. Good lord. Even the normally-easily-impressed audience doesn’t laugh at his tumbling boulders of anti-hilarity.

And finally, with a mullet that would probably even look excessive on a horse, Hillary Clinton — er, I mean, Lucille Cataldo — shrieks an ORIGINAL COMPOSITION (so no stealing) about her shitty hair dresser and then has some kind of grand mal seizure. I keep waiting for her to pull out a riding crop and take a ride on a nude, hairy man in a gimp mask crawling across the stage.

I’ll leave you with these for now, but I assure you — and as you can probably tell from the “Related Videos” panes — there’s plenty more of this shit. For some reason. It’s scary that someone out there has an endless supply of this horrific show on a bunch of VHS tapes.

(Thanks to ascendance for a few of the quips in this one.)



Jabberwock


Specious Argument Theater

Even if it were true that children with homosexual parents were somehow “more troubled”, as fundamentalists and traditionalist shitheels like to claim — and most studies indicate there’s no correlation, but even if it were true — isn’t it far more likely that it’s the fundamentalists’ and traditionalist shitheels’ attitudes toward homosexuality creating social pressures and a culture of homophobic hatred that would be the primary cause of the problems?

It’s like if I constantly told some little kid, “you are WRONG for wearing that red shirt. I hate your red shirt. Did your mom buy you that red shirt? Then your mom is WRONG. You’re WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG!” and I led a ceaseless campaign to get other people to subscribe to my perspective. And then one day the kid breaks down and cries, and I say, “hah! Look at THAT! The kid in the red shirt is crying. This just proves my point: Kids shouldn’t wear red shirts, because kids in red shirts are more likely to have emotional issues.”

But then, getting fundamentalists and traditionalist shitheels to engage in self-examination is like trying to pull out an elephant’s teeth through its ass while it’s backed against a brick wall wearing a titanium chastity belt.



Jabberwock


Photoshop Phriday: Mormonads

Author: Jabberwock | @ 11:46 pm | Filed under:

So, I’ve been hanging out on the SomethingAwful forums of late, and submitted a Photoshop Phriday thread a few weeks ago using MormonAds, goofy and sometimes bizarre advertisements that would appear in the Mormon magazine New Era or something like that.

Anyway, they ended up using my idea this week, including a bunch of my submissions from the thread.

If you’d like to see the ones that didn’t make it, you can check them out on the other side of the fold below, or you can visit the original SA thread. (Though, if you’re not a member, I think you have to click links to see images, and they screen profanity.) And if you’re looking for the original MormonAds themselves, you can find them on the site linked from the first paragraph, or on this page.


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Jabberwock


Chalking this one up to “Fundies are dumb”

Author: Janet | @ 2:10 am | Filed under:

You may not know this, but I work part-time in a bookstore in Manhattan.

Today a man came in and asked where our religion section was. I directed him downstairs: “See the big neon sign at the back that reads ‘downstairs’? It’s along the wall to the left. You’re welcome.”

He comes back about 3 minutes later. “Did you find it?” I ask.
“No.” he replies. “You’re not a normal book store, are you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Not like Borders or Barnes & Noble. You… specialize.”
“We’re a small chain only in the city. We have a lot of plays because we’re near NYU’s theater department.”
“No, you seem to have a lot of sexual things.”
“Some books have sex in them.”
“I didn’t mean to offend, it just seems… I was curious about what I saw… I’m just killing some time, really…” He got flustered.
“I’m not offended, sir, I’m just fascinated by how your brain is working.”

This man sees books on 5% of our displays, involving an aspect of human life, that are, in more corporately cleansed stores, hidden or not sold. They distract him so much that he doesn’t find what he claims he’s there for. That’s the part that really got me: he could not locate the Religion section, and when corrected, refused to return to the infernal basement to look again. He left, probably certain that we are scary, reticent, decadently cosmopolitan smutmongers, to find a decent worldwide chain or a Christian bookstore or, most likely, an actual porn store. The perspective this person must be coming from is predominant in the American suburbs: normalcy is the greatest extreme of standardized sanitation, censorship is presumed, and sex appearing at all means that the venue is defined by sex. It goes hand-in-hand with a paternalistic society in which all people are children or, at least, imagine every other person to be such.



Janet


Expelled: Couldn’t Possibly Get Less Intelligent

Author: Jabberwock | @ 12:08 am | Filed under:

I admittedly haven’t been paying much attention to the laughable garbage spewing forth from the mouths of fundies these days, and have only just come to find out what Ben Stein’s “Expelled” film is all about. Richard Dawkins has a pretty good article about this over on his site. I was a little disappointed that the first paragraph continued beyond “The blogs are ringing with ridicule. Mark Mathis, duplicitous producer of the much hyped film Expelled, shot himself,” but it’s a good read nonetheless.

Hey, Ben Stein, want to know why Intelligent Design isn’t allowed into science classes? Why it’s not given any consideration in serious scientific discussion? Listen closely, because I’m growing tired of repeating myself:

BECAUSE IT’S NOT FUCKING SCIENCE

I wish there was a way for me to make this simpler, but there isn’t. Intelligent Design draws a definite implicit conclusion about something that is unobservable and untestable. That is, “there is intelligent life other than ourselves, and it is responsible for our existence.” This is not science, by any definition. I’m not sure what it is exactly that you think science is, but Intelligent Design is not it.

Intelligent Design belongs in a philosophy class at best. It’s not that it’s banned from schools, it’s just that it’s banned from science class. In much the same way discussion of the mythology of King Arthur would be, or interpreting the cultural significance of Candide. Equally out of place would be attributing the movements of the planets to unobservable gigantic horses that can never be seen or measured in any way. Sure, you can’t disprove it, but that doesn’t mean it belongs in a science class or that it should “be on the table” or “shouldn’t be dismissed out of hand” or whatever.

And Intelligent Design isn’t even an attempt at refutation of evolution. Even if it was true that some brilliant entity that existed long before us is responsible for our creation, there’s nothing about that idea that would somehow “disprove” that we were created to evolve. That is, unless you drag the Christian God and mythos into all of this, in which case you’ve already thrown science completely out the airlock without even a paltry attempt to veil it as anything but religious belief. And that’s all Intelligent Design is, really, is a paltry attempt to veil religious belief as some kind of science.

Science requires testing, which in turn requires that the hypotheses being tested have observable evidence to work with. You can’t draw scientific conclusions without evidence. That Intelligent Design relies on the implicit constant that “extremely intelligent life existed before us, and is responsible for our creation” rules it out as science.

I could go on for days about the specifics of their claims, and how they don’t resemble scientific thinking in any way, but a) You can check out Dawkins’ article linked above for more of that; and b) The paragraph above about drawing definite implicit conclusions (which I encourage fundies and pseudoscientific quacks to re-read as many times as is necessary until the concept finally absorbs) is the only explanation necessary for why Intelligent Design doesn’t belong in a science class.

P.S. - Book is finished, and I’ve finished the editing pass. I’ll put up the first fifty pages or whatever at some point in the very near future.



Jabberwock


Befehl ist Befehl

Author: Alec | @ 4:16 am | Filed under:

Everyone acknowledges Nazi Germany as the most evil regime in human history. (A few do not, but including them in ‘everyone’ is an insult to actual members of our species.) The Nuremberg Tribunals were, in light of that, a particularly grave undertaking, and America’s central role in their arrangement and execution is probably the high-water mark of American foreign relations. It was a brilliant and complete compromise; an international trial under color of universal standards of criminality, it avoided both of the victor’s-justice proposals of the US’s principal allies - that is, trials under presumption of guilt for Stalin and summary execution as unlawful combatants (sorry, outlaws) for Churchill - and produced something, if not indisputably just, then at least sufficient to see some justice done in a situation where injustice had been the norm for the whole of human history.

In general, there are four distinct modes of defense at Nuremberg. One is uninteresting, as it’s part of any trial - disputations of fact (although that was largely from the later trials, as the initial, international trials handled indictments pretty much exclusively on the basis of overt actions by field plenipotentiaries.); then we get into the three that are more interesting.

Jurisdiction. The accused at Nuremberg, while often unable to deny the factual basis of the prosecution’s case, denied that the international court had any standing to try crimes committed in Germany. While the other proposals for trials did address this to some extent - the Soviet show trials would likely have used at least some German partisan personnel, maybe even to the extent of Nazi-exiled judges and lawyers [NB: by the time the War came, the little resistance by the fairly conservative judiciary that had ever existed to Hitler had been removed quite easily.]; the proposal the French favored involved localized trials for atrocities. But the Nuremberg trials rested on a crucial pillar: The law of any country is obligated to the core human principles of justice. It doesn’t matter if Nazi Germany, in the end, had effectively decriminalized murder of Jews; this was in direct defiance of the principles of civilization. To whatever extent any universally desirable values can be said to exist, they are or at least spring from the equality of all human beings in the eyes of power. Anyone who deliberately sets out to slay a human being in cold blood is a murderer, whether or not the state or a perversion of human understanding have justified her action.

While the US-orchestrated trial of Saddam Hussein owed its legitimacy to this basic principle, we continue to flout the jurisdiction of the ICJ, and to hear people celebrate it is shameful.

Equal depravity. This is the argument, sometimes simplistic and sometimes complex and at least partially justified, that the depraved behavior of the defendants was acquitted by similar behavior by their opponents in wartime. Equal depravity should never form a coherent defense; the only reason it was allowed to lead to a shifting of prosecutorial priorities (for instance, the decision to charge Donitz under the London Naval Treaty instead of the convention against unrestricted submarine warfare) was the shameful position of finding themselves in a league with fascists, not any retroactive justification of their evil acts.

This one is one to think about when the dead-enders start comparing Daddy’s behavior to that of various scum (al Qaeda, the Islamist factions among the Iraqi insurgents, Saddam Hussein, Ahmadinejad). It is to no one’s credit to just barely squeak by one of history’s monsters, and doing so generally lead the people making the case in Nuremberg to retire that prong of the case in shame.

And finally, the granddaddy of all defunct defense formulas:

Responsibility to orders. This defense, rejected in all cases at Nuremberg, states in essence that disobeying orders from higher-ups is unacceptable. The rejection itself was two-tiered; the Nuremberg Standard states that soldiers have a clear obligation to disobey illegal orders, and the Command Responsibility Principle (or the Yamashita Standard, or - more unfortunately - the Medina Standard, after the principle which the trials for My Lai refused to acknowledge for ranking officer Medina) states that officers must bear responsibility for crimes of commission or omission under their watch. Responsibility to orders is a lawless defense. It goes beyond ‘illegal’; it presumes that there is some fundamental quality about obeisance that causes it to trump the continuously reinforced compact we make with society and the law.

Responsibility to orders, in its presentation at Nuremberg, took on two forms in the popular reporting. The first was the original German - that is, Befehl ist Befehl. Ordered is ordered; it portrays the kind of efficient, stiff-upper-lipped, and somewhat fatalist demeanor the fascist lackey imagines for himself. ‘Befehl ist Befehl’ is aggressive in its directness and direct in its aggressiveness; it brooks no disagreement, takes the form of a tautology and statement of fact, and presupposes the inherent rationality of following orders.

The English form, of course, displays the somewhat different attitude a democratic society takes towards such behavior. The established translation of the Nuremberg defense became, in short order, I was just following orders - reducing the tough-guy posturing of men who were willing to do anything to fulfill their standing orders (piss on the law, slaughter innocent people, crush a child’s testicles, you name it) to a pathetic sniveling. Where the fascist declaration emphasized the imperative of obedience, the language of democracy pointed and laughed at special pleading by willing pawns. The greatest justice of the Nuremberg Trials might just have lay in that particular transition - holding fascists out by the throat for all to see that the proud chest-puffing soldiers’ soldiers were basically spineless toadies. War crimes do not merit the dignity of ‘orders are orders’; agreeing to engage in them is either demonic or cowardly, and either one beyond the point of redemption.

The last time I had cause to think of the difference, it was in slight alarm that the respect for the dignity of these ‘career soldiers’ would creep back into historiography and society, that the modern conservative would begin, as his Neanderthal predecessors in Truman’s day did, to sympathize with the plight of the dickless wonders pretending to be so abject to the power of a short, fat man with a shitty moustache that they had no choice but to incinerate a million children. American society has stepped away from the abyss in many fundamental respects - and one of them is the increasing awareness of the hollowness of orders. The transparent fraudulence of the orders defense has been on public display as the telecom industry parades out the same gallery of lame excuses - and, without even the military conventions of obedience to acquit themselves with, have been shamed pretty heavily in the eyes of the public.

We’re not out of the woods yet, and won’t be until the instinctive consensus develops that, outside of an active disaster situation in which expert authority is the only hope anyone has, civilians are subject to the orders of no one. This proudest tradition of the American people has been regarded with instinctive suspicion since Nixon, and it’s harrowing indeed that private citizens (who would certainly take a far different tack if it came to orders about pollution or ignoring regulations) honestly felt they could acquit themselves in the court of public opinion by pretending that they were obliged by the orders of the President to satisfy some political voyeur’s illegal desire to keep tabs on American citizens. Authoritarian societies first and foremost rely on the breakdown of legal and technical restrictions on authority - and on the militarization of society. A society which on any level can accept Befehl ist Befehl und Gesetz ist Gesetz as a valid line of inquiry is in severe danger. We can only hope we’ll get out of that mindset before something else has everyone out there singing some parochial anthem of American authoritarianism.



Alec


The Oath

One of the only real ways to ensure rational, intelligent governance:

Every public official down to schoolteachers and dog catchers must take an oath that their behaviors and decisions will not be motivated by religious convictions. Any violation would jeopardize their job/position.

It’ll probably never be implemented, especially given the indication of an increase in batshittery, but a guy can dream.



Jabberwock


Meditations on Environmentalism

Author: Alec | @ 1:38 am | Filed under:

Radical versus radical - the failure of American descriptive political language
I’ve recently noted that my main beef of contention with environmentalism is against radical environmentalism. This is not to say that my issue is with extremism; the issue is with radicalism in the dictionary sense of the word - going back to ‘radix’, or root - which is to say, a political praxis whose ultimate goal is the preservation or furtherance of the environment itself.

There are a few radixes I can get behind, and others I can at least sympathize with. So in the common sense of ‘radical’, I would perhaps disagree with the tactics and choice of priorities of an activist whose concern for economic, racial, and gender equality, or rad-liberalism, or for economic sustainability, lead them to firebomb a factory farm owner’s home - but I wouldn’t have anything to quarrel with them as far as their goals went. A radical environmentalist, no matter how moderate in terms of actions, would never have anything but superficial agreement with my own programme.

Ecology makes for poor politics; the recent upsurge in the normally muted political fortunes and visibility of the greens (especially among fairly ‘moderate’ politicians and voters) makes it essential to take a particularly careful eye towards picking out those whose concern for the environment relies on politics - or aesthetics.

Belief in the obvious - framing and global warming denial
There’s a remarkable and irritating tendency by even people who deride denialists to concede the high ground to them by allowing them to make the issue about global warming one of ‘belief’ or ’skepticism’. After all, no sane person would accept the idea of ‘believing in’ the Holocaust - the event is at the same time unbelievable but painfully clear in its historicity. Similarly, global warming is terrifying and all too real. The true believers are those who ignore a pants-pissing level of national and local, long-term and everyday evidence for climate change.

Levels of unanimity and plausibility

These are the approximate equivalents between different facets of climate change; they’re rough analogies but, I feel, good ones.

1. Global warming: Natural selection. The evidence pointing to global warming per se is absolutely irrefutable - the Earth is presently in a warming period.
2. Portentious global warming: Evolution. While it is sometimes argued that global warming isn’t necessarily too bad, the current warming period has resulted in a level and speed of climactic disruption which enjoys no parallel in history outside of massive eruptions and comet impacts.
3. Non-anthropic global warming: Punctuated equilibrium. Recent evidence has fairly powerfully established at least a correlative link between carbon levels and climate change; the idea that humanity plays no substantial role in global warming is very poorly received among climatologists, and its few adherents are usually experts in incidental fields. It’s worth noting that, per the relationship between p.u. and evolution, no non-anthropicists with axes to grind against the larger idea of global warming are taken seriously, or would have any reason to be, by mainstream scientists. Respectable people suspect that humans are not responsible for climate change; but their numbers are shrinking and they’ve got little support outside of the carbon spewers.
4. Reversibility: Single-origin hypothesis of man. A fair majority is on the side of humanity’s ability to undo or at least halt climate change, but there is still substantial evidence it’s out of our hands. On the other hand - if it is, we’re fucked either way, right?

Al Gore

People who suddenly started giving a shit about carbon footprints when it came to making fun of Al Gore are huge assholes and should be killed.

First World Versus Third World

It’s become dismayingly politically correct to pretend that the first world’s contribution to global warming and pollution is secondary to the pollution and population problems of the Third World. While the pollution level is generally higher there, we produce much more pollution and consume a great deal more resources simply by virtue of being richer. The green movement’s best interests are clearly ignored by the mean-spirited dicks who seriously believe that they can constructively blame the world’s victims for the world’s problems. Leave that shit in Texas, please.



Alec


Chick Dissection | Dark Dungeons Revisited (Epic Tag-Team Gary Gygax Died For Your Sins Edition)

Author: ascendance | @ 3:23 am | Filed under:

I’ve been meaning to revisit some of the earlier Dissections, since I did them long before I got much of a feel for them, and it seems like there are a few things missing from them. So in light of Gary Gygax’s recent demise, I figured we’d pay a kind of tribute by going back and taking a look at the subject of the very first Dissection: Dark Dungeons.

[nepphie] That’s us, honoring the creator of one of the greatest games ever by re-trashing a tract that completely misrepresents said game.

Since nepphie has done all the work of tagging all of his lines with [nepphie], we’re going to ditch the usual convention. My lines will be the unprefixed ones.


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ascendance


If I Were God, And Just

Author: Alec | @ 3:57 am | Filed under:

The punishment for believing, even for a fleeting moment, that the American invasion of Iraq is comparable to the American contribution to World War 2 would be foundering forever in the surf of Omaha Beach, just scant yards from the sand, breathing in grity iron-bitter water and dancing and bleeding for the Nazi machine guns for all eternity, endlessly denied the safety of the shore or the release of death.

(Whichever pissant it was who came up with the Saddam Crossout cover for Time, I’m looking at you here.)



Alec


Reader Mail: Faster, Government! Kill! Kill!

Author: Jabberwock | @ 7:38 pm | Filed under:

Writer Infidel753 and I received this amusing and somewhat patronizing e-mail about the death penalty from an irate reader. The following is the original message and my response to it.

From: Religion Sucks

Hello,

(Among others, I love the “jabberwock” poem)

Now I may have mis-understood some thing you said and you may not be against the Death Penalty. If you are not, I am in error and I apologize for it.

On the other hand, if that is what you did say, please continue reading.

As other (aside from myself) much more intelligent than most, logical and rational people KNOW, the Death penalty IS not only EXTREAMLY civilized, it is also the logical and rational way to deal with those who choose to break our laws!

And Child, If you do not know this, you are no where as logical as you seem to think you are!

Of course, being a nice old fart, (unless crossed) if you want, I will slowly and carefully explain why the Death penalty IS civilized!

Please, Take Care!

(nasty) Neil

“A Pro Iraq War Agnostic Atheist Activist as well as an Iconoclastic Philosophizing Vet and Grumpy Old Son Of A Beach!”

http://www.VetsForFreedom.org/

“Most People Do Do Network Marketing Every Day, they just do not get paid for it.”
http://NeilsTeam.jerkydirect.com

What separates “we killed him because we had our reasons” from “I killed him because I had my reasons”? Just because there are more of us who agree there’s a reason to kill someone, it doesn’t make it right. By this logic, as long as there’s a majority that agrees that the reasons are justified, we could kill anyone for anything.

Arguably the biggest problem that exists with the death penalty is this: If we ever make a single mistake and kill even ONE innocent person, we will all be guilty of murder. Every last one of us — cold, calculated, systematic murderers.

Yeah, okay, I agree that there are many people who deserve to die. They’ve done some terrible things, there’s clear evidence that they have, and they really do deserve death. But it’s not really even about that. It’s about the fact that we, as imperfect people with an imperfect justice system and a thorough inability to completely and perfectly piece together the precise facts about what actually happened, cannot in good conscience deliver such a punishment. Until our justice system is absolutely perfect, the death penalty should not be an option. I mean, are you actually arguing that the justice system for any country is perfect, especially in the United States? If so, you’ve already very clearly lost your argument.

It’s ironic that you’re writing me with the name “Religion Sucks”, considering the death penalty’s roots have a strong connection to religion — or, rather, in the cultural prejudices that millennia ago became collected into religious law. Is it right to stone a girl to death because she was raped and “defiled her family”? Hey — the majority of the fundamentalist Kurdish people have agreed that this is a “civilized” and morally justified course of action, so it MUST be, right? It’s “the logical and rational way to deal with those who choose to break [their] laws”, is it not?

Of course, since your greatest argument in favor of the death penalty thus far is that it’s “EXTREAMLY [sic] civilized” — without actually explaining HOW it’s civilized — or that it’s “logical and rational” — without actually explaining HOW it’s logical and rational — I’m not sure how exactly it is that you intended to attempt to change my mind. Considering that you seem to think “I am logical; therefore I am logical” is somehow the way logic actually works, I’m a bit dubious about what you’d be able to offer to attempt to change my mind, but feel free.

Not only is the death penalty EXTREMELY uncivilized, irrational, and illogical, it should never even be considered an option, given the flawed and imperfect state of the human mind, and by extension of humanity and its ability to make collective decisions. While it’s generally safe to trust us with decisions that can be undone if they turn out to have been made in error, or to not work out as we’d speculated, ending a human life is permanent, and should not be left up to a group of people I would only with extreme hesitation and reluctance trust to cut my hair.

I hope this has helped illuminate my position on the matter.

Take care as well,
J Crowley



Jabberwock


DALAI LAMA / UBER ALLES / DALAI LAMA UBER ALLES

Author: Alec | @ 2:22 pm | Filed under:

There are a couple of things I’ve always been unable to be a good liberal about; to be fair, I’ve always been pretty firmly convinced they’re only associated with liberalism in the US because of their association with the counterculture; the anti-nuclear movement, for instance, has always seemed a little bit panicky and irrational when it comes to viable (if not quite optimal) alternatives to filthy, destructive use of coal and oil. But far more unsettling to me has always been the American liberal enthusiasm for the Dalai Lama.

Tenzin Gyatso is an interesting figure, as any theocrat tends to be; this is, in large part, because his political movement has made a deliberate effort to present itself in different ways to different people. To the Tibetan people, he’s always had a very firm public image: he promises a return to tradition, moral order, and the end of Chinese and Hui Muslim presence in Tibet. When one presents Mr. Gyatso to the typical left-winger this way, they’re much more leery about supporting him. After all, I doubt anyone you’d want to get trapped in an elevator with would willingly sign up to demonstrate for the Pope’s right to establish an isolationist theocracy in Sicily, expel the Tunisian and north Italian minority, and close off the Straits of Messina to interlopers.

But history was kind to Tenzin Gyatso, as it generally tends to be to the sort of person who powerful monks become convinced is a reincarnation of their god-king. His rule coincided neatly with two extremely useful phenomena: first, the rise of Maoism in China, and second, the rise of the New Age movement in the West. The former made Gyatso from a theocratic pretender in the middle of nowhere to an ideological martyr for those convinced the Communist Chinese were mentioned by John in the Apocalypse; the latter made him from an uninteresting old doctrinaire with little to offer the world any random prince-in-exile could not (besides an interesting accent) to a completely mystical guide to a people who were, all of a sudden, not really religious - but Spiritual.

This is the problem with Gyatso. A lot of people are willing to abandon the faith of their family, and I’m all for that. The problem is that quite a few then decide the natural thing to do is to pick up some other, more foreign religion. It is the natural tendency of youth to rebel, and Gyatso just happened to be the divine leader of a religion in which the world’s wealthiest people all of a sudden had a depressingly condescending passing interest. So, since the 1960s, he has been a cause celebre for a mixture of liberal counterculture dilettantes and hawkish loons convinced any effort to blacken Joe Chinaman’s eye is a step towards freedom for all mankind.

And we have inherited from our parents’ generation a liberal movement with such a deep investment in the counterculture that it cannot tell when it is being taken for a ride. Tibet is a perfect example of this, and it’s worth pointing out, once I’ve described what exactly has been going on there recently, what other allies besides ourselves and Tibet’s answer to the Moral Majority Mr. Gyatso has attracted. In short, in March there were a series of demonstrations. (There is a holiday, amusingly enough, called Tibetan Uprising Day. The story of it coming to be called that is, admittedly, far less amusing - but then, few things involving Mao heartlessly shedding more or less innocent blood are.) This we have all heard about. And they got violent.

The problem is, they got a kind of violent that we’re all too familiar with: while there were substantial injuries to Chinese police, that’s to be expected in a protest situation. But the thing that particularly gives me pause is who else got injured or killed in the uprisings in Lhasa.

The thugs, who seem to be connected politically to the Dalai Lama but for all intents and purposes were simply acting in their own capacity as violently angry backwater assholes, got out any weapons they could find and started smashing in stores, beating up anyone who looked too Chinese, and - so far, most infamously - setting fire to people and buildings. They weren’t attacking the Chinese government, or instruments of Chinese oppression; they were assaulting individual Chinese civilians - including women, children, and the elderly - because they felt their presence in the region was an affront.

I would have no problem calling this behavior fascist if it were to involve white Arizonans, under color of Christian fervor, kicking the Hell out of random Latinos. I’m not sure if belonging to an ethnicity we’re supposed to condescendingly pity changes this.

As the spiteful uproar continued, the citizenry of Lhasa - who love their spiritual leader and would generally not pass up an opportunity to give the Chinese occupation one in the stones for him - kept home in a mixture of disgust and fear. The rioters proceeded to go on a tear against the Hui, members of a Muslim population who have shared the area of land identified as Tibet with the Tibetans since before either Buddhism or Islam existed. The capstone of this shameful orgy of xenophobic violence came with an attempt to burn down a long-standing mosque.

The Chinese decision to increase police presence - really the only thing that could be done - was, of course, met with considerable protest. The degree and kind of protest varied from place to place; Kevin Rudd, representing Australia’s governing Labour party, urged the Chinese to exercise restraint. (They’re not famous for doing so; it’s a reasonable request.)

Of course, many people went beyond that; they demonstrated for the oppressed Tibetans, angry at the oppressive Chinese strangling their quaint little culture and enraged that Beijing would begrudge them just a little innocent ethnic cleansing. So far, the majority of European conservative and folkist parties have come out to support the Tibetan rioters’ right to oppress a smaller, more Muslim minority. Angela Merkel swallowed her pride to support these oppressed Asians (a personal first on both counts) in their quest to free themselves from the tyranny of the Muslim family living down the street (not so much). With friends like these… you invade Iraq.

Tenzin Gyatso’s spent his entire career performing this delicate balancing act, and has been struggling bravely and vaguely since 1959 for Tibet’s right to choose its own destiny, or live under the watchful eye of the one true Church, or slaughter all of the Han and Hui mud people - depending on who’s going to bat for him at the moment.

We’ve been taken in too often by hucksters offering some kind of moral high ground, and we’ve always been suckers for a good oppression story. But we need to be more careful next time; if this is the kind of nonsense we’re going to tolerate trying to free Tibet from Beijing, God only knows what we’re going to have to overlook to free it from Lhasa.



Alec


The Walking While Black Act of 2008

Author: Jabberwock | @ 1:23 pm | Filed under:

a.k.a. The “We will tell you where your pants’ place is; don’t make us remind you of yours” law.

In yet another epic display of bloated superego shittery, Florida is on its way to passing a law that would make wearing baggy jeans a crime. As the clothing style is particularly popular among black youths, this seems like little more than another excuse to add to the immense list of Reasons for Police Officers to Approach and Incarcerate the Dread Negro. It is, after all, much better for us to be total crypto-racist fascists than for the sensibilities of elderly Florida retirees to have to be challenged by dealing with people who are different from them.

Here are some hilarious excerpts from the article:

Supporters say schools sometimes don’t properly police dress codes and parents are often “under aware” of what their kids are wearing to school.

Or maybe they just don’t subscribe to the idea that there is a unified standard for how people should live, and that everyone absolutely must abide by it.

Despite being the butt of jokes, the bill’s sponsor, Orlando Sen. Gary Siplin, a Democrat, has said the fashion statement has a back-story — it was made popular by rap artists after first appearing among prison inmates as a signal they were looking for sex.

Haha, “butt”, get it? Butt of jokes? What delightful wordplay! Oh, man. Somebody get these guys a sitcom or something.

Anyway, a) I question the validity of his little history report there. b) Since when does anybody give a good rat’s fuck where things originated? If they did, then “shit” would be considered the polite term for describing feces. What a bunch of hypocritical, self-righteous rustcunts.

The Florida city of Riviera Beach passed its own saggy pants law Tuesday, with a maximum penalty of 60 days in jail for repeat offenders.

Gah. Just stop. Stop it. Stop. If this is the kind of ludicrous, superego-heavy bullshit we evolved from apes to accomplish, maybe we ought all climb back up into the trees.

People this abjectly stupid really, really aren’t helping my superiority complex.



Jabberwock


Spitzer Addendum

Author: Jabberwock | @ 12:55 am | Filed under:

Okay, okay, I guess it’s pretty funny and ironic for Spitzer to get busted on something he hammered other people’s nuts for, but I guess the intent of the previous post was more that everyone should stop giving so much of a shit about prostitution, including Spitzer himself. That it’s still illegal is ridiculous, puritanical goatshit, and our country, sexuality, and the prostitutes themselves are worse for it. If it is our intention to punish sex workers for their actions not only with prison sentences but primarily by maintaining a potentially harmful environment that endangers their lives and health, then we are monsters and can never again make any justifiable claims to morality.



Jabberwock


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