World’s Third Laziest Webcomic

I find myself here having to apologize once more for infrequent updates. You know I love you guys, but everything’s been so busy and crazy and I think I’ve gotten into another of those lulls where I feel like my rage meter has sort of become all overwhelmed and stopped working properly. I still get really fucking angry about a number of things, but before I can think to write about them it just kind of bursts and sputters out and I can’t bring myself to give a shit about them. There are only so many times you can read about, for instance (among many), people for whatever reason earnestly defending insurance companies before your brain just kind of shits itself and says “fuck it, just play some video games or something for a while, I can’t do this right now”.

This has happened before, and passed, and I feel like this time it will as well, but while it persists my updates here are going to be relatively infrequent, and I’m sorry.

In the meantime, I’ve started a new webcomic that captures at least a portion of that anger. It’s incredibly lazy, and is all basically transcripts of conversations I have (mostly — and all to this point, at least — with my friend Tom who you may have seen in Rocket Man) throughout the day that I basically just copy/paste into the database to be spat out as a sort of pseudo-comic. It takes about three minutes of my time outside of the conversation itself, which would be happening anyway.

You can find it by visiting Human Mammal Dot Com or basically clicking on that link right there. There’s so much content that it’s going to be updated daily simply because if I didn’t I’d get this tremendous backlog of material that would necessitate me eventually putting up like eight posts a day or something just to keep up.

I want to keep providing you guys steady content, but it’s hard when I have to sit there and write out some long essay on top of everything else. So while I muscle through this terrible lull amidst my general existential angst and depressive issues, you can check that out. It’s still in beta and I know there are a bunch of bugs, and I’ll be adding more functionality soon, but it’s there and it wants you to look at it so please do.

MORE TO COME!

-The Mgt.



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Napoleon Dynosaur

Author: J Crowley | @ 11:28 am | Filed under:


Click to view full-sized image.

When I can boil this down to eight colors, I’ll submit it to Threadless. I’ll keep you posted, so you can head over and vote.



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Rob Burnett for John Sundman

Author: J Crowley | @ 9:25 pm | Filed under:

I have to take yet another opportunity to plug my friend John’s books.


EDIT: Linking to the video instead of embedding it.

(I threw on the titles.)

As laid out in the video, you can find the books over at Wet Machine, John’s site. If you can, do him a favor and pay for them. They really are worth it, and if you knew John, you’d know your money was going to a great place.

As for my own book, I just formally submitted it to a publisher after it became clear that the editor who’d promised he’d read it had flaked out. Fixed some of the early bits, and some of the early dialog, which was kind of stilted and was written a few months before I wrote the remaining, like, 90% of the book. Big improvement.



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Voices

Author: J Crowley | @ 6:20 am | Filed under:

So, I made another video. I’ve been inspired of late to write scripts for sketches, and I’m hoping to write at least two and film at least one a week. I’ll have a post about all of this sometime in the near future, explaining my realization that I’d generally become too serious and angry as a person over the last eight years, but for now, just enjoy this video that I made with my goofy, questionable acting and such. And if you like it, tell your friends.

If you have trouble with stuttering and such with the video, you’ll want to click the little button on the right of the video (when you mouseover it) to turn HD off. If that still doesn’t work for you, I’ll have a YouTube link up at some point in the near future, though I’ve noticed their compression seems really lossy, especially when it comes to audio, so I recommend Vimeo for the full experience, if your computer can handle it.

Anyway, here goes:


мебели бургас
Voices from J Crowley on Vimeo.



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Machination Preview (with bonus!)

Author: J Crowley | @ 1:38 am | Filed under:

Hey, everyone. I know this is a long time coming, and I apologize for the delay, but here’s the first bit of the novel I wrote at the beginning of 2008. Keep in mind that this is rather a rough draft, and I’ll probably make another editing pass even if it never gets picked up by a publisher and I end up having to self-publish or something. There are a few bits I’m still not completely happy with.

You can download the Machination preview (.rtf format) by clicking here.

If you like it, feel free to pass it on to any friends you know who might also enjoy it, but only if you keep the file fully intact and unaltered. If you really like it and you feel like doing an awesome favor for a desperate man, there will be opportunities coming up that I’ll inform you about to help me market this thing. I’ll keep you posted, as the materials/plan will be available soon.

And as an added bonus, here’s what I have so far for the first scene of the novel I’m currently working on:

The Programmable Corpse

P.S. – For those of you who e-mailed me, I’ll have you upgraded to contributor status soon. Sorry for the delay.



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More LOLTraders



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LOLTraders

Inspired by Sad Guys on Trading Floors (and grabbing many of the pictures they have there), it’s LOLTraders!

And here are some Janet made:

More to come, and if you like, you can join the LiveJournal LOLTraders community.



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Robechet A

Author: J Crowley | @ 3:22 am | Filed under:

There’s a new video up at Unfair Dinkum for you to check out. The production blog there has the details.



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Rocket Man

Author: J Crowley | @ 3:24 am | Filed under:

So, I made a short film, and created a website for this film and all the future films I’m intending to make.

The film is here. It’s at 720p on the site, so it might be a little taxing depending on the system. If you encounter issues with stuttering in audio and/or video, try clicking the “HD is on” button to turn it off and reduce the resolution. Please keep me posted if you run into problems, since I’m curious about how big a problem it is and how effective a cure turning HD off is. I might eventually upload a version to YouTube; we’ll see.

Check out the production blog as well, which will not only provide greater details about each of the films, but also other information and various things I haven’t quite figured out yet.

While you’re there, sign up for an account. If you’re interested in receiving inevitable e-mail updates about future films, put the word “bearmace” in the “Yahoo messenger” field (since in all the forums and various other things I’ve used that have individual accounts, I’ve never actually seen this field filled in).

Enjoy. I hope.



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Photoshop Phriday: Mormonads

Author: J Crowley | @ 11:46 pm | Filed under:

So, I’ve been hanging out on the SomethingAwful forums of late, and submitted a Photoshop Phriday thread a few weeks ago using MormonAds, goofy and sometimes bizarre advertisements that would appear in the Mormon magazine New Era or something like that.

Anyway, they ended up using my idea this week, including a bunch of my submissions from the thread.

If you’d like to see the ones that didn’t make it, you can check them out on the other side of the fold below, or you can visit the original SA thread. (Though, if you’re not a member, I think you have to click links to see images, and they screen profanity.) And if you’re looking for the original MormonAds themselves, you can find them on the site linked from the first paragraph, or on this page.


(more…)



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In Which I Again Fail Spectacularly at Summarization

Author: J Crowley | @ 2:38 am | Filed under:

So. My novel. To friends and family, I’m notoriously miserable at summarizing things (especially with this book, because there are about ten different plot lines that all eventually coalesce), but I’ll try my best.

Here’s where each strand of plot begins.

The second civil war in North America has turned cold, leaving the continent somewhat nebulously divided. Chicago is a mafia-run city-state. Canada has subsumed portions of the western U.S., down into Los Angeles. Texas has finally seceded and become the Lone Star Republic. A militant Mormon group has declared Utah independent. The United States government, acceleratingly oppressive, still holds power in most of the U.S., especially in the east.

All sides have been experimenting with new military technology, particularly the U.S. A machinery and appliance company with extremely strong ties to the government has been running tests on some experimental new war machines sporting artificial intelligence. One of these tests involves a neural implant that allows a pilot to wirelessly interface with the tank and communicate with the AI.

During a field test involving sweeping out suburban ruins for resistance fighters, one of these tanks has an existential crisis and kicks out her pilot, severing their wireless connection. On his way back to report the incident to his superiors in Indianapolis, he stops in a diner where he meets a couple of cloned waitresses. Before he can eat his meal, the tank suddenly shows up out of nowhere and aggressively pursues him, flattening the diner in the process.

Another of these experimental AI machines is a biped model that’s intended to ultimately be a nearly indestructible weapon that can run indefinitely. The general chosen to test one of the two existent prototypes of this model ends up falling in love with the AI.

Due to an increase in genetic manipulation, the U.S. government has instated a kind of eugenics program that forces unmodified individuals to mate with each other, through the use of implants that effectively prohibit intercourse with others, but force intercourse during the woman’s most fertile time of the month. Unsurprisingly, there were plenty of middle-aged male volunteers for the program, and nearly all the draftees were women.

Two of the characters have these implants. One of them works for the Department of Information, effectively the propaganda arm of the government. The other works for a news organization that’s covertly owned by the Department of Information, screening news items for potentially subversive material. The former is a pompous asshole with a hardon for authority. The latter is a reluctant participant who does the work because it was one of the only jobs she could get. On the day the book begins, she receives a cryptic message in between the story items for the evening news.

In a New Mexican desert, during a demonstration to U.S. military research heads (which has become the only way to really make big money anymore), a hive of a hundred thousand robotic insects suddenly becomes unresponsive and takes off into the sky to the east. The small company that developed them pursues.

A seemingly contagious insomnia is sweeping across the country. Many suspect it’s linked somehow to yawning, but nobody really knows what’s causing it. Bioterrorism is suspected, but nobody can provide any evidence for the theory. While afflicted with this insomnia, a sleeper assassin is activated and sent on a mission.

A company called Meme offers the service of cloning individuals, rapidly developing the clones to an approximate specified age, applying any desired genetic modifications, and rewriting a map of one’s neural pattern onto the clone. You may not be able to live forever, but your ideas can. An elderly gentleman who anticipates the end of his life sells all his belongings and has himself cloned and killed. His clone is inadvertently double-written with both his neural pattern and the neural pattern of a recently-deceased supergenius with the same first name and a very similar surname, which had been stored in their computer system. Said clone wakes up extremely confused.

And that’s just the first morning. Throughout the book, the threads interweave in various ways that I won’t presently delve into as I don’t want to spoil anything for anyone who might actually want to read this if I ever get it published (or, failing that, if I ever self-publish it).



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I made some kind of horrible art thing.

Author: J Crowley | @ 2:40 pm | Filed under:



Click for larger version.



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A Hand Job

Author: J Crowley | @ 8:42 pm | Filed under:

Figured I’d share this with you all, as I’ve been a little inspired lately:



I find I’m far more comfortable working with pen or pencil and scanning it in to Photoshop for coloring than I am doing either all-Photoshop or all-paper media work. I don’t have the control and precision I need with a WACOM tablet when I can’t directly see where I’m putting the pen, but I’m a huge fan of the undo feature and the color manipulation available if I end up picking the wrong color. Plus, layers are awesome.

Note to Alec: Sorry; I’ll get another ‘Hitler’ out soon, I promise.



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Form vs Bricolage: John Cage and Xenakis

Author: Les | @ 3:19 pm | Filed under:

In the popular imagination, the composer John Cage is linked with Freedom and composer Xenakis with form. I believe that this largely stems from their respective manifestos. Formalized Music by Xenakis deals with mathematical models for the creation of sound and is filled with undecipherable equations. By contrast, the main theme of Cage’s book, Silence, is the mantra “everyone can create music.”

Generations of musicians have found inspiration from Silence. Blue Gene Tyranny remarked that that he and his contemporaries read it like the bible. The most common reading of this book is one of freedom. This is backed up in some of Cage’s work, especially later endeavors like the musiCircus in which hundreds of musicians play all at the same time without listening to each other.

In Silence, Cage raises the point that anything can be music. What, then, differentiates music from non music? Something, by this logic, is music if the composer says it is music. Therefore, even 4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence can be music. But how does a composer say something is music? Of course, he or she declares it by writing a score. But how does one indicate the borders of silent musical piece? When does it begin? When does it end? The composer, therefore, relies on the form.

Cage’s interest in form goes back to his very early works, including the Constructions in Metal and the Square Root pieces. This interest stays with him even when he turns to chance operations as his primary means for generating sounds. Pieces like Fontana Mix allow total choice of sound production to the performer, but the score imposes a form. Cage’s interest in form is made directly obvious in his Lecture on Nothing. A whole section of the lecture does nothing but outline the form. The lecture itself is form without meaningful content.

Cage, then, relies on form as the most important principle in his pieces. His use of chance operations and even silence show that form is the fundamental building block of music. However, when students want to study form, they turn away from Cage and his reputation for freedom and turn to the more restrictive-seeming composer, Xenakis, whose book, Formalized Music, has pages and pages of mathematical formulas, explanations of stochastic theory, and seeks to translate music into mathematics or vice versa. Xenakis uses formulas to generate material and is widely seen as more rigorous than Cage. However, this perception is in error.

In his piece Horos, Xenakis uses cellular autonoma to generate pitch material. However, he uses it for only part of the time and he uses the generated autonoma out of order. In all his pieces, he makes extensive use of bricolage: he fits things together using his taste inventing and improvising as he goes. Indeed, this is how composers usually work. However, it is not mathematically rigorous, instead relying on unquantifiables like aesthetics and taste. This is directly opposed to the philosophy of Cage who makes no use of taste whatsoever in his later works and simply accepts the outcome of his chance operations.

There are those music students who reject the work of Cage as a charlatan and instead turn to the perceived rigor of Xenakis. However, Xenakis’ best known invention is stochastic music. In this music he (sometimes, when not using bricolage) uses stochastic formulas to determine density and pitches, etc. However, stochastic formulas determine probability and chance. What is the difference between using a chance operation to pick notes and using stochastic formulas to pick notes and densities? In Cage’s version, you spend a lot more time casting the iChing and in Xenakis’ version, you spend a lot more time computing formulas. Both, however, are the use of chance, although Xenakis’ use is more abstracted.

Therefore, both composers are making extensive use of chance, but the more rigorous composer is Cage, who is also the composer more interested in form. When these composers are placed in opposition, however, it is Cage who is cast as the free-wheeling, anything goes proponent of total freedom and Xenakis who is cast as being rigorous and obsessed with form. This can only be attributed to a difference in writing style and a difference in their followers. John Cage, the anarchist, wanted everyone to create music. Xenakis, the communist, wanted discipline. Cage has been taken up by all sorts of people, both inside and outside art music. Xenakis is firmly within the academy.

The biggest error, however, is not misattributing form, rigor and freedom, but rather placing the composers in binary opposition. The greatness of one does not diminish the greatness of the other, nor should students have to pick between them. I feel that this error stems from an even greater error and that is the general disregard of American composers.




Toothpaste for Dinner Homage/Ripoff

Author: J Crowley | @ 5:35 pm | Filed under:

I drew this the other day at work, as an homage of sorts to Toothpaste for Dinner.



Click for Larger Image

My sister is in town right now, so I won’t have much in the way of more substantial content for another few days.



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